One last thought about Professional Domination

I wrote a bunch the other day about professional domination, but I missed one important item -- safety. Seeing a professional dom, whose been around for a while, has a little bit of reputation, and seems interested in her skills as a dom has, oddly enough, been very safe. Professionals are ususally interested in having you come back, so even thought limits are pushed, they are seldom trangressed.

On the other hand, a quick look at craig's list or other amateur sites show how really scary it is out there.

One of the commentators to this weblog made a comment about how it "sucks" that I was involved with a professional dominant. Mistress Katja was offended by the comment, and I’ve been thinking about it a little bit.

I saw my first professional dominant about 30 years ago, and, while not really experienced, have had long term relationships with three different dominants. I’ve also been married to a woman who was interested in kinky sex play, and I’ve been a member of various kink clubs or groups.

The biggest issue is the invisible hand of Adam Smith. Quite simply, the supply of beautiful dominant women is limited and the supply of submissive guys like me is big. So, if I was a woman with an interest in kink, I’d have a wide supply of submissives to choose from. On the other hand, beautiful women in leather don’t line up to date me.

Which brings me to the next issue – Beauty. When I’m in sub-space, I think I’d roll over for the ugliest person in the world. But to get to sub-space, for me there has to be that initial attraction. Most professional doms that I have seen are beautiful, some quite so. I think that at heart I’m hetero, so the beginning of a sub-dominant relationship I think for me needs to be hetero. I know Mistress Katja has been changing my thinking about my relationship with men, but I still don’t look at men walking down the street in the same way that I look at women. At the SM club in my town, I have to say the number of beautiful women is limited. (Many of the beautiful women there are gay, and aren’t interested in me). And I may be politically incorrect, but weight is a big issue for dominant women. I recently put a personal on Alt.com, and all of the responses were from very heavy women. I’m sure I could be submissive to them, but I’m not going to seek them out.

Lastly, for a guy like me, the clean, pure altogether submissive relationship with a dominant woman works just great. The mixed messages I’ve had in non-professional relationships are often difficult. Mistress Katja, on the other hand, seems to be interested in seeing how far she can push my boundaries, not something that can be done on a daily basis.

The commentator indicated that my relationship with Mistress Katja wasn't real. On the contray, I think it's one of the most real things I've ever done. I look at my time with Mistress Katja as one of the great adventures of my life. I’ve run out of money, but that’s a temporary thing. She has been great – imaginative, cruel, insightful, and beautiful.

Out of custody

In June, Mistress Katja and I agreed to a "sabbatical" from chastity. There were a number of reasons for this, all on my part. First, I found it impossible to ride a bike with the chastity device on. Because I wasn’t riding my bike I was getting fat, and somewhat depressed. The other reason was financial. I simply couldn’t afford to see her as often as either she or I would like. So I’m sorry to disappoint my half-dozen regular readers and I have no new tales of pain or humiliation.

Some of you might like to know how its been. Aside from the freedom to masturbate, my life hasn’t changed all that much. I still follow most of the feminization routine that Mistress ordered. That is - panties every day, bubble baths twice a week, perfume every day, legs nicely shaved. I’ve given up my regular visits to the nail salon. Cost again, but when I took the polish off I discovered a nasty fungus under my nails. I’m sure I picked it up at the nail salon and it’s going to take forever to get rid off. Mistress insisted that while I was on sabbatical that I not ‘play’ at chastity, so I haven’t. I still tend to sit down when I pee, although being free to stand up is great at times. One thing that has changed thought, is that I now jerk off to pictures of men.

Emotionally, its been difficult. I miss seeing her, and I also really miss the ever present reminder of my sexuality that was locked on my penis. I thought that I would jerk off like crazy when I was released, but what happened was that my general interest in sex decreased somewhat. I’ve also realized that a good whipping every so often does wonders for my mental condition. I saw an item on the net a while back that said soviet doctors prescribed whipping for depression. If only I could get my doc to prescribe regular visits to Mistress K.

If any of you are interested, Mistress Katja said that someone had, perhaps in jest, offered to pay for a session with her and me. If that appeals to you, let me know.