One of the commentators to this weblog made a comment about how it "sucks" that I was involved with a professional dominant. Mistress Katja was offended by the comment, and I’ve been thinking about it a little bit.

I saw my first professional dominant about 30 years ago, and, while not really experienced, have had long term relationships with three different dominants. I’ve also been married to a woman who was interested in kinky sex play, and I’ve been a member of various kink clubs or groups.

The biggest issue is the invisible hand of Adam Smith. Quite simply, the supply of beautiful dominant women is limited and the supply of submissive guys like me is big. So, if I was a woman with an interest in kink, I’d have a wide supply of submissives to choose from. On the other hand, beautiful women in leather don’t line up to date me.

Which brings me to the next issue – Beauty. When I’m in sub-space, I think I’d roll over for the ugliest person in the world. But to get to sub-space, for me there has to be that initial attraction. Most professional doms that I have seen are beautiful, some quite so. I think that at heart I’m hetero, so the beginning of a sub-dominant relationship I think for me needs to be hetero. I know Mistress Katja has been changing my thinking about my relationship with men, but I still don’t look at men walking down the street in the same way that I look at women. At the SM club in my town, I have to say the number of beautiful women is limited. (Many of the beautiful women there are gay, and aren’t interested in me). And I may be politically incorrect, but weight is a big issue for dominant women. I recently put a personal on Alt.com, and all of the responses were from very heavy women. I’m sure I could be submissive to them, but I’m not going to seek them out.

Lastly, for a guy like me, the clean, pure altogether submissive relationship with a dominant woman works just great. The mixed messages I’ve had in non-professional relationships are often difficult. Mistress Katja, on the other hand, seems to be interested in seeing how far she can push my boundaries, not something that can be done on a daily basis.

The commentator indicated that my relationship with Mistress Katja wasn't real. On the contray, I think it's one of the most real things I've ever done. I look at my time with Mistress Katja as one of the great adventures of my life. I’ve run out of money, but that’s a temporary thing. She has been great – imaginative, cruel, insightful, and beautiful.