Puppy love

I got the device back on the night before last, and now I am over the 36 hour mark again. I have some small irritation and discomfort with it, but nothing major. I woke up in the middle of the night but didn’t have all the pain I had the first night. I believe this thing will be managable.
I thought that I’d be able to stand up to urinate, but that’s not the case. I tried it and then spent a few minutes cleaning up the bathroom floor. It’s a real pain in the ass to have to sit to pee at work. But there’s a frisson about it. I’ve been thinking thoughts like "real submissive’s sit to pee" and "real sissys wear panties" and those thoughts reinforce my desire to continue this path.

Mistress Katja is out of town, she’ll be back today and I hope to see her soon. I’m going to shop today for a gift box for the keys. I should get my toes painted again before I see her, but I’m feeling shy, and I know the salons will be busy over the holiday weekend.

One thought I had in the middle of the night last night was about training. When you train a puppy, you abuse it a little bit and end up with a quaking heap of co-dependent magma, who totally adores you. If Mistress abuses me as much as I fear she will, will the result be the same?

I haven’t written in this journal in a week or so, since I’ve been on vacation. I flew and stayed with family so I didn’t wear the spiral for the last week or so. I thought I’d be excited when I got home to get it back on but have found excuses for not doing so. I thought I’d put it on this evening but I’ve discovered that it is impossible to get on with even the hint of an erection. I’ll have to read some really boring stuff or watch TV and then try to surprise myself.

Mistress Katja was nice enough to talk about me in her blog entry. http://www.amazondotdomme.blogspot.com/ It makes me feel rather proud.

She also talked about her prefering written porn to photographic. I also prefer written porn and only look at pictures if they look real. My favorite site just for pictures is the Other World Kingdom.. http://www.owk.cz/start.htm Terrific BDSM, and the flavor of the site is so real. I also look at thumbnails of transexuals. I find Richards Realm easy to access. http://www.richards-realm.com/links

When I read porn on the internet I love forced fem stories, general BDSM (Female superior, men inferior), chastity stories, and transvestite and transgender stuff. I really like Fictionmania, and even have one story posted there.(My nom de plume is Rose). http://www.fictionmania.com I also check the stories on Altairboy’s chastity site. http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/newstuff.php I’ve recently taken to downloading ebooks from Pink Flamingo https://www.pinkflamingo.com/.

I should meet with Mistress this weekend or early next week and give her the keys. Then it really begins. This long build up has been exciting..

Its funny how stress feeds into obsessive behavior. I’ve been stressed and angry about some personal stuff, and the net result was I went right to JC Penny yesterday and bought a pair of satin pajamas and a nice peignoir set. If Mistress Katja was still in town, I would have been groveling at her feet this weekend.

So I wore the device until last night. A total of 72 hours. I find it mostly comfortable, and certainly wearable. At which point I decided that three days continuously was pretty good and I deserved to jerk off. So I did. I had some problems after I jerked off with my piercing so I didn’t put the device back on. I have to say it works well. I think a solid tube design might be a little more comfortable, especially when hard, and I’m going to look at Mistress Lori’s web site and see what my options are. I’m planning to take today off from the chastity device, but then I’ll have the opportunity to wear it a few more days before I get together with Mistress Katja and give her the keys

Give her the keys. That phrase should be accompanied by drumrolls. It makes my heart rate increase, the palms of my hands sweat and my face flush.

Mistress Katja referred to me as her "slave" in one of her emails. I’m very proud of that. Here are 10 short slave fantasies:
1."That pubic hair has got to go."
2. "Only sluts don’t wear bras. You’re not a slut, are you?"
3. "This collar is steel and fits on with this little allen wrench. I know it’s a little Gor-ish, but I like it."
3(A). "The gold chain and the initial ‘K’ stay on 24/7."
4. "Should the tattoo say ‘property of’ or ‘owned by’?"
5. "Hi, my name is Rick and Mistress Katja gave me your keys. You need to get over here and
clean my apartment."
6. "These hormones will make your nipples so much more sensitive."
7. "Stop blubbering, this whipping has a long way to go."
8. "You’ve never heard of bastinado? That’s when I whip the soles of your feet."
9. "How long since you’ve climaxed? Only a month?"
10. "Perhaps I’ll let you clean the dungeon when I’m finished with my other slave."

Day Two

Well, its now about 48 hours locked up. It really wasn’t much of a thing today, as I was so distracted with some personal stuff. I meant for the blog to be mostly about my chastity adventure, but I’m sure that personal stuff is going to leak in from time to time, so I might as well get out with it. I’ve been trying to buy a house, it was supposed to close today, and the banker fucked up by not verifying one source of funds. At the end of today, it looks like the place will cost me $100 bucks a month more or I’ll have to give it up. The worse part is that when I loose my temper I get exhausted later.

At any event, its now two days. I may have be overly complacent about pissing while standing up. It’s certainly safer to sit down, just in case I hit the bars etc. I also noticed how the air seems to hit my cock and balls, because the device makes them stand proud. Sleeping is OK, but its still hard to get back to sleep after a midnight woody wakes me up.

I just read some porn to see how it feels when I’m hard, and I’m sure I’m going to hate it. What I’m really anxious to find out is how I feel when I don’t know in the back of my mind that I can take it off. I’d really like to see Mistress soon, but I think she’s traveling. Nothing would get me more centered than a good whipping.

First 24 hours

Well, it’s just twenty-four hours since I put this puppy on and I’m pretty proud of myself. I fussed with the size of it last night, made it shorter and a little fatter and it fits pretty good. I woke up with a midnight woody, but it didn’t hurt like the night before. I guess this is a good time to confess that I like to go to sleep by fantasizing about sexy scenarios. I’m going to have to start counting sheep. I’m pretty tired tonight, after two not so good nights. I’m having high drama in my daily life too, and getting angry always exhausts me.

Some thoughts about chastity. First, for a small dicked guy, this ironmongery gives me a bigger package and I have to say I like it. I’m able to pee standing up, but I need to be more careful about where I aim. I also need to be alone, because its certainly visible. I’m constantly aware that its there. It was fun, talking to a woman friend at the office Christmas party today and thinking – "if only she knew".

Its fairly comfortable. Its not fun to get hard, but livable. I also have some slight irritation at my piercing and from the ring around my balls. I’m sure both will get better as we go along.

I also got two emails from Mistress Katja. She’ll be out of town, I think from this weekend until New Years, and I’ll be out of town too. Just thinking about her, and what will happen after New Years when she has the keys is thrilling and scarey.

Nighttime, the first night.

Well, I got the spiral on last night, went to bed and work up at four in the morning in a tremendous amount of pain from a nocturnal erection. My poor penis was swollen thru the wire wrap of the device and it hurt like hell. I managed to read a boring book and get it back down and got some more sleep. But by morning it was really sore.

When I looked at it in the morning it was swollen and sore. I also couldn’t get down. So I took the thing off and spent the day without it. I put it back on tonight. I made it a little shorter and a little wider and I think that will help. The wires make the nocturnal erection problem harder I think than the other designs, because of the way the flesh gets pinched. I got an email from Mistress Lori today and she says that I’ll adapt to the pain. I’m going to try it again tonight. I leave for the East next week, and I can’t wear it on the plane and I’m not even sure I’ll be able to wear it where I’m visiting. So I want to get some time in if at all possible.

I also got an email from Mistress Katja. Reading between the lines a little bit, I think she’s excited about this as well. Just thinking about her gets me hard, and I don’t want to be hard with this damn thing on.

It arrives

My chastity device, Mistress Lori’s spiral, arrived yesterday. I had it mailed to my work, and wasn’t there yesterday, so I didn’t pick it up until today. I had unreasonable fears yesterday that the idiot IT guy at work would think it was one of his toys and open it up. But then today I had the nice feeling when talking to my boss in my office –"if you only knew what was in that innocent looking box."

So of course I rushed home and put it on. Being mechanically challenged, it took me a few minutes to figure it out. And then of course I had an partial erection and couldn’t get it on. I used a bag of frozen corn to get that woody down, and now its there.

I’ll write tommorrow about how the night goes – sleep, peeing etc.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to get it together to give the keys to Mistress Katja until after Christmas. She travels, I travel, I have to move etc etc. Right now its just a nice tight feeling

Not much to report

I’m sorry I haven’t written in this blog for so long. I was visiting family and then I was sick – creeping crud or suchlike – and simply haven’t been interested. It interests me that being busy distracts from my sexual obsessions but it does, although I still think about this chasity journey often.

My piercing is healed pretty well, I think. The chastity device hasn’t arrived. It was promised for one month and its now been six weeks or so. I emailed the manufacturer yesterday and she wrote back that they’re backlogged, but didn’t give a delivery date. . It doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to start this stuff until the First of the Year, since Mistress Katja will be out of town and I travel as well over Christmas.

I got a card in the mail for a free pair of panties at Victoria’s Secret, but you have to go in person to pick them up. That’s my challenge for today, should be nice and humiliating.